Ok, who gave the baby a sharpie? (or, Back-to-school Part 1)

  • By: Jennifer
  • Date: August 17, 2022
  • Time to read: 4 min.

Oh wait, that was me.

See I’m getting ready for back to school (finally, does it seem like everyone else is already back to school, or is it just me?), and you know the drill. 

You search online or at the school building for a bonified, current, they-actually-need-this-stuff supply list and then enlist your WHOLE crew of Crazies to help you get the shopping done.

Because you’ve lost all your sense. Sense-less you are.

Office Depot didn’t know what they had coming–until they heard us traipsing through the aisles like so many stampeding mules, nearly knocking over whole displays and spilling one perfectly good container of hand sanitizer all over the cart. And a few of its contents.

Thanks for that one, C Puddins.

Did I even tell you I had a flare for the dramatic? ‘Cause I kinda do. 

Then you get to endure the joy that is finding the right color this and the perfect shade of that for each of your dear, darling children. Alas, at least the prices were on point–I’ve got four kids to supply! (Ok, three really, but don’t you think Mr. M and his not-quite-two-year-old self NEEDS a little pa-cack (his version of “back-pack”)? 

Fortunately there is one very easy thing about back to school shopping–choosing an implement to label your kiddo’s stuff with. 

There is but one option, friends: the Sharpie.  ‘Cause it’s a marker that’s “sharp” and also has the word “pie” in it. And I like pie, y’all. 

I love pie.

I hoard my Sharpies and then I strap them together with a rubberband so they can’t escape my clutches. And if you’ve ever been to my house and rifled through the junk drawer, you’d have found this lovely gem.

Tell me your junk drawer looks like mine. Show me the JUNK DRAWERS!

And I use my bless-ed sharpies on everything in sight. From those little rounded plastic caps on the 20 glue sticks (TWENTY) for the kindergartner to the 4 packs of crayons for the first-grader to the 10 canisters of clorox-wipes for the preschooler (and that extra pair of undies, bless his potty-trained heart), to the gigantic ziploc bag you package it all up in.

E V E R Y T H I N G must be labeled and only a Sharpie will do.

Once the labeling-of-the-supplies phase is complete, you can move onto the labeling-of-everything-in-sight phase, cause labeling is fun right? You should see me with a label maker. Even the baby would be labeled.

I did actually summon up the gumption to make some space (i.e. I shoved all the miscellaneous papers into another cabinet) for the kiddos to have there very own shelf in the family command center. 

Now when they come home with a ZILLION and one coloring sheets and glue-covered activity papers I’ll have somewhere to neatly shove stack them, by kid. (Along with the stack of unread magazines that I might get a chance to look at before the rapture. Might.)

We are organized like nobody’s business, around here people.

And last but not least, I’m getting ready to bake my brains out so these kids might actually have some real food options for snack/lunchtime…oh, I get to label the lunch boxes too! 

Anyway, I label those ziploc bags full of goodies (muffins, waffles, etc.) and pop them in the freezer. 

Yes, the kale and the swiss chard from the farm that I painstakingly peeled stems from, and boiled, and blanched, and drained and packaged, and labeled and froze shall henceforth be called ‘goodies.’

Isn’t this fun?

And because I’m so not crafty, while we were on our shopping crusade and couldn’t find the perfect pencil box for BabyGirl, we decided to grab a plain one and decorate it. Sharpies to the rescue! 

I may or may not have gotten her started while she was gone. I’m sorry, the markers were calling my name…and nothing beats a sharpie on a slick, smooth service–it feels right, right? It’s just like that slick side of poster paper+Sharpie combo.  OooOO, so glossy.

Don’t roll your eyes, you know I’m right.

Let me tell you, she LOVED this little project and left nary a sliver of clear plastic on this box. Girl after her mommas heart…and she knows how to stick out her tongue whilst coloring. I heart her.

And last but not least, mommy got a couple of prizes for herself. I mean, just think of all the forms I’ll be filling out and signing in the next few weeks. And Lord knows I’ll never find a pen that actually works in the junk drawer. 

You could lose a finger in that junk drawer.

So I just grabbed some Uniballs and I shall wrap them in their own rubberband and hoard them as well. Along with my new retractable highlighters. 

I love back-to-school. 

What about you? Are you back to school yet? If so, how did you get organized for the big day? If not, how shall we spend our last days of freedom?!?

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