We’re getting ready to head off on our 10 year anniversary trip in a few weeks (I know, you can hate me all you want, but we’re still going. I NEED to go!) so I thought it was high time I got my notes together for my loving, caring (insane) mom (aka Nana) in order to prepare her for the fun that is life with the Crazies. She’ll have lots of help from Grandpa and one of the Aunts, but still.
And she’s a REALLY intelligent person, like incredible. The woman has degrees in English and science–so basically she uses BOTH sides of her brain all the time. I prefer to use one side, thankyouverymuch. I’m saving the other side for later, when I don’t have small leeches sucking my brain cells out one ridiculous question at a time.
Mommy, why do we have fingers? Mommy, where’s that little thing that goes to my toy? Mommy, why are your eyes bulging out of your head? Mommy, why are you hiding in the pantry? …Can I have one?
And since she’s so intelligent, I thought a flow chart would be the best way to guide her through what may be the longest week of her life. Sorry, Mom!
I’ve tried to include a solution to every possible situation. A plan for all contingencies. I’ve tried to predict just how crazy the Crazies may become during an extended parental absence.
I’ve thought of everything. I think.
Actually, I’ve just given as many solutions as fit in a 650×1200 space. So…good luck.
And remember, if you find yourself in the midst of a ‘situation’ and don’t have time to work through the flow chart, just know that all roads lead to bed time. Eventually.
I also just want to point out, or maybe reiterate, or highlight the fact, that there is no circumstance on the flow chart for which you should call us. Nope, no reason at all. So just go on your merry way and we’ll go on ours completely oblivious to the chaos. Ok?
I owe you big time. BIG TIME. Thanks mom!