You Know You’re A Mom If…

Isn’t it funny how life changes after you have kids?  Nothing is about you anymore–or at least there are always other, smaller people to consider.  You’ve changed so many habits (some by force), and have really grown as a person.  

You’ve taken on that new role with gusto and work through each day without a mind for how quickly those changes took place. You’re reminded almost constantly throughout the day of how wonderfully (and drastically) life has changed under that mommy moniker. 

Maybe we’ve even had some of the same reminders, you and I. My list goes a little something like this:

You know you’re a mommy if…

1) You have no finger nails. Why?  Because you break one every time you change a crib sheet.  Really Carter’s?  You couldn’t spare one extra inch of fabric to make those dang things a little longer?

Instead you have to pull the mattress completely out of the crib, wrestle and wrangle the sheet on to one side at just the right time for it to pop off the other side. Then you give in and over extend one end of the sheet just so it will stay on, and sacrifice a fingernail to the mattress gods by force-flipping the final corner across the vinyl.

On the bright side, you never have to waste money on manicures.

2) You make dinner every night with at least one version of these at your feet:

Are you still looking at me?! I’m still here! I even have wet things sliding down my face. Did you notice?

Charming.

3) You’ve become completely desensitized to people wearing half their clothing. Random body parts? Transformer undies? Completely naked potty-training toddlers? All in a day’s work. They don’t phase you for an instant.

4) You’re a pro at gauging the potential disastrousness of any audible ‘splash’ of water in relation to your small children.  Yep, those little ears of yours are highly trained devices attune to even the quietest aqueous sound.

Examples: 

a) Sound of pee pees hitting the inside of the toilet–GOOD!

b) Sound of pee pees hitting the linoleum–bad. And messy.

c) Sound of hand splashing in dog bowl–moderately bad (building immune systems?).

d) Sound of child throwing entire bottle of hand soap into toilet–real bad.
5) You hoard those little pink ‘box tops for education’ in a reused sour cream container that sits proudly in your cabinet. You’ve collected this secret stash by mutilating every cereal box in sight, and have even been reduced to ripping them off the granola bar box during snack time after Timmy’s t-ball game. Pink cardboard=money, people. A whole whopping ten cents.

But maybe that’s just me.

What are the ways that you just KNOW you’re a mom? (Or a parent–sorry, working from my mommy perspective today). Feel free to vent in the space below!

 

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